To the Moms and Dads of America's Fallen

I offer you my heart-felt condolences on the loss of your child in the military service of our country.  You have my deepest sympathy for your profound loss and my genuine respect for this burden you bear.

I have personally witnessed the overwhelming devastation of losing a son in the line of duty in my own family.  When the Navy helicopter my young husband was piloting exploded in mid-air, instantly killing all seven crewmen on board, it was I, now a military wife-made-widow, who made the gut-wrenching phone call to my wonderful in-laws that forever changed their lives.

In the dark days that followed, my mother-in-law and I shared the grief of losing the man we loved unconditionally.  She loved him as only a parent can love a child; I loved him as my husband and best friend.  Different loves for different relationships, yet united in the loss of the same man who played an irreplaceable role in our lives and brought us each great joy.

With lots of help, we learned how to survive this devastating loss, cope with the reality of a life without him, and eventually discovered how to move forward and find happiness in our once joyless existence.

After the death of my husband, I soon discovered there were no reference materials specifically for military widows, nothing that spoke to the destruction of my once happy military life, or how to work through the pain.  This was my inspiration to write Military Widow: A Survival Guide (Naval Institute Press, 2006), the book I searched for when I desperately needed a lifesaver.

Now, at the request of surviving parents and military personnel, I've undertaken Military Parents: We Regret to Inform You. This book is for you: the Moms and Dads who know what it feels like to cradle a folded American flag.  When complete, it will be filled with a real-life understanding of the impact of military loss on surviving parents.  As I write this survival guide, I ask you to consider turning your tragic loss into a greater good.  It is my hope that many of you who are reading this letter will come forward and open your hearts to share your personal experiences, so that the parents who will follow in your shoes can learn, be comforted and find hope in your life-lessons of survival, coping and acceptance.

Thank you for the sacrifice made by your son or daughter.  And thank you for living that sacrifice, each and every day, in big and small ways.

•  Joanne's Bio